How do you plan a vow renewal

A vow renewal can be as simple or as elaborate as you want it to be. Some people do a small destination ceremony with just themselves an Officiant, and a photographer. Other couples go all out and basically have a second wedding. It sounds like you are leaning more towards the elaborate ceremony with a wedding dress, a wedding party and guests. If that’s the case, it will be expected of you to provide your guests a meal if the festivities will take place during a meal time. If not during meal time (say 1-3 pm), then a cake and punch ceremony could work, or appetizer/hors d’oeuvres. Providing such things is considered your thank you to your guests for taking time out of their schedule to get dressed up and attend your ceremony. I will warn you, it is also considered overstepping/bad etiquette to tell your guests what color to wear. if you’re going to have a wedding party and invite guests to your event, it’s important to be a good host.
Congratulations on 10 years!

View Quoted Comment I have been to weddings where there was a dress code for guest. Our guest are only going to be our immediate family so very small group of ppl. All who wouldn’t mind me asking to just wear a shade of blue to be my something blue. So at least I know my audience to know if it’s ok to request such.


I do understand needing to provide something for the guest as a thank you. We thought about when we do the candid photos, having the businesses know ahead of time our guest will be there, paying for items on their menus ahead of time and giving our guest coupons to turn in to redeem food and drinks for themselves. That way they are all fed and have drinks while we do fun candid photos. The area we are thinking is in one area with a fun photo esthetic and free Game activities like corn hole, chess, and polo.
I just don’t know how to do the run down with cow exchange. Is there an opening speech before we do ? Since we are already married.
Have you hosted or had a vow renewal, what did that look like, how was the flow.

View Quoted Comment I have attended a vow renewal. It was held on the rooftop of a local restaurant. There was no wedding party. The couple walked down the aisle together. The ceremony was short and sweet. It sounded very much like a marriage ceremony, with a few tweaks. For example, rather than saying we are gathered here today to join these two people in holy matrimony, they would say something to the effect of we are gathered here today to celebrate the love of (insert couples names). The couple took regular vows, but then also added in some funny ones that reflected their married life. Things like, (bride) do you vow to continue loving (husband) even when the Packers beat the Bears? (they were both huge football fans with rival teams). After the ceremony, we all went downstairs to the restaurant, where the couple treated everyone to a nice dinner and cocktails. Then we all went out to a bar afterwards.

View Quoted Comment Oh that sounds more like what I plan on doing. I’m just including photography during it all because we never had any taken at our courthouse marriage. A lot of the photos are combo both family and just us pictures. The venue I have my eye on is perfect. It’s close to so many places within walking distance. So I may do like you have said reserve a place and have it all paid ahead of time for my guest count. Then do the fun night on the town.

View Quoted Comment That sounds fun, and I’m sure you’ll get lots of great photos!

View Quoted Comment Yesss ! Definitely looking forward to having those in my home since we move so much and never have any to really hang to commemorate our special day. Just one picture on a not good quality phone at the courthouse haha.

View Quoted Comment It’s kind of funny, we are basically doing the same thing, but in reverse order! We had a destination wedding this past November with our parents, siblings, and closest friends. We did the ceremony, treated everyone to dinner and cocktails, then went bar hopping. The only catch…the officiant didn’t show up!! So it wasn’t legal. So now this fall we are going to the courthouse, just the two of us, for an intimate elopement to make it official.

View Quoted Comment Oh wow that funny and I’m sorry about the officiant not showing up. But at least you get to celebrate it again. Congratulations to you and your husband. Hope your intimate ceremony goes perfectly. I contemplated on doing a destination vow renewal but that would mean some of our elderly guest wouldn’t be able to attend. Maybe for our 20th we will.

View Quoted Comment Thank you! And I highly suggest the destination vow renewal. We had a BLAST! And you can always live stream the event for the elderly people who can’t make it.

I would personally treat this more along the lines of a 10 year anniversary party. While these can absolutely be as beautiful or upscale as you like, feature speeches, renewing of vows (though I am not someone who happens to think these expire) a cake, dancing and a dress in white or any color, reality is it's not a wedding so I'd advise against anything that comes with the connotation that you are newlyweds, for example bridesmaids. It's inappropriate to ask people to dress in a color of your choosing no matter who you've seen do it, how close to you they are, or how willing you think they are. Your guests are not props and can dress as they see fit.

View Quoted Comment Your right definitely is a anniversary celebration regardless of me wearing a white dress. I have also thought of wearing something with a little bit of color too. My guest on the other hand are thrilled to be included. None really feel like they are a prop, especially since traditionally something blue is usually incorporated in some way for weddings. Otherwise of course I’d revise that portion of the event. I appreciate your feedback of course !

View Quoted Comment Very very true, I will keep that in mind, Incase this venue doesn’t work out. Thank you so much for your input ! I appreciate it greatly.